Stronger or weaker?

i’ll figure out this mess
I’ll blow the blurriness

the scar i embossed upon my heart
letting them carve it with such art

unfair to me were they or was it myself?
apparently, i suffer, they’re hidden, little elves!

hollow like a cylinder or a pipe i feel it
Right there in my chest please believe it

it aches as the lights go off at night
memories ambush me and then i fight

they say it gets better those literate peeps
they’ve never been in love nor they weep

this is a story every next door oh my reader
agony however is true like a scornful meander

I’m healing yes i am you can say at least
Or is it that i fake in any crowded feast

there are billion sth ppl around this world existing
but you are the only soul i want. I ain’t listing.

took me months to pick up this pen again and write it out
you see, you took everything with you without a shout

hope, even if i say i don’t, i do have within me
I’m human; (rolling my eyes) i say sarcastically

stronger or weaker you ask for the conclusion?
it’s weaker for me without any confusion